Diabetics Won't Take Care of Themselves. I need advice?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for four years now. He's 21, his mom is 67, and his dad is 73. All four years his parents have been like this, I don't know exactly for how long it's been happening.

They're both diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and both in the mid 30s bmi range. Many times a week they eat at restaurants and say "they deserve a treat" while every morning they both have 3 eggs and two slices of buttered toast for breakfast. Not good for his dad's high cholesterol and blood pressure. Together, they go through 4 loaves of bread, a dozen doughnuts, and 4 pints of ice cream on a weekly basis as "treats". On top of that is all the alcohol they drink, but I'm not sure if that's bad for their diabetes or just bad in general. I've stopped baking cookies and cakes because his dad eats all the cookies or the entire cake after everyone goes to bed.

His dad is looking at a very risky surgery for his leg because the muscles have atrophied. He will need the surgery if he can't take care of the issue himself, through regular exercise. Both of my boyfriend's parents park themselves in front of the tv all day long. No exercise. Ever.

They're not going to be around much longer if they don't start taking care of themselves, and that will break my boyfriend's heart. What could I possibly try to coax them into being healthier? My boyfriend and I used to stash all the alcohol and junk food after they went to bed but they just got pissed and bought more. Any help is appreciated

Answer 1

You and our bf really cannot do anything if his parents are not willing to help themselves except to not bring in foods that are bad for them. His parents are grown adults, assumingly smart enough to know that what they eat and how they live is going to shorten their lives and probably render them handicapped so their son will need to take care of them (either himself or by paying for a caregiver to come in or putting the in an assisted living situation). You should talk to your boyfriend about that reality--knowing there's nothing you or he can really do otherwise if his parents won't change themselves. Your boyfriend needs to get a grip on reality and accept that someday (probably sooner then later), he's going to be caring for his parents until they die. Yes, it'll break his heart but he can't MAKE then eat healthier, can't MAKE then get up and take walks, can't do anything much. He should get his parents to sign off on both a Power of Attorney for each of their healthcare and for each of their finances (different legal documents for each parent) so if something does happen, he can take over making decisions about their health, and take over their finances (paying bills, making investments, etc.--he'll probably also have to present the bank with the county clerk filed (he'll get a file stamped copy from the county clerk when he files them there) Power of Attorney for finances so the bank can put him on as the legal administrator of his parents' accounts). He should also have a General Health Care Directive (also known as a Living Will in some parts) that indicates to everyone including any ambulance people, Emergency Room people, doctors, nurses, what they can do--the parents will need to determine how far they want any medical care to go and that needs to be written into the Living Will. Like, for me, if the medical people determine I am in a vegetative state and will probably not wake up, and if I did I'd still be pretty much brain dead (or so disabled I'd need round the clock help to do everything), then they are not to do anything to prolong my life. The person(s) I appointed to see to it that that's done and make every other medical decision for me when I am unable to do so myself knows what I want and are legally bound by my Living Will (which they've accepted to be responsible for doing), my siblings and other relatives etc. have no legal right to do so and the medical people have to listen to my appointee. And that's about as much as our boyfriend can do but maybe getting all their legal papers together will make his parents understand more just how serious he is (but maybe not). My brother is grossly overweight, has had diabetes for a year longer then I have, won't exercise, loves good food, and now (only 6 years into diabetes) already cannot walk and will probably not live a long life; I don't want him to die (he's only 15 months older then I am and we've always been real close), he's got 3 very young grandkids who won't even remember him if he doesn't live for another 10 years, but he refused to do anything to help himself and now his doctor won't let him even get into a pool because of the exertion it would put on him. I've resigned myself to the fact he'll probably die way too early but other than set a good example by what I will eat and how I live (I too am diabetic, diagnosed a year after my bro, but I am active and eat very low starch, eat to keep my cholesterol down because I don't want to take another pill because I already take 2 pills for hypertension). I've gotten the rest of my family to cook using less sugar and starches, less saturated fats (although a little is fine), have gotten most of the family to cut back on the amount of desserts we have at family gathering (it was out of control anyway but my family has a high incidence of diabetes so it's better if we all cut back), even less red meat and more fish, more fresh vegetables, take a family walk after we eat (the little kids need to blow off all that energy so they can go home and take a nap, adults just need to get out of their chairs and walk).

Answer 2

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Answer 3

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Answer 4

Hello



I was diagnosed 3 months ago. I keep a food diary. I sometimes have 2 eggs on Toast for breakfast. I have 2 breads, 1 is a Big fresh baked Harvest Grain, I use 1 Slice = 1 Bread. The other is a Weight watchers, Half the size and very light so I use 2 slices = 1 bread. I do not have any Butter, Margarine or Sugar in my Flat. Most days Breakfast is 1/2 cup Muesli with a little Semi Skimmed Milk, Lunch is a Salad Sandwich, (Open with the HG or Proper with the WW), Dinner is some Diced Carrot, Cauliflower and Swede (every evening) Last night I had a little Liver with it, The evening before I added half a packet of Thick Broccoli and Stilton Soup. Supper is normally something on Toast (Backed Beans, Eggs or Spaghetti) or a Fried 1 egg sandwich. At the moment I am not on Insulin and as long as I keep to the diet I shouldn't need to. My biggest problem was Portion control. I was told I could eat anything I want as long as I accept that it would most likely mean me going on Insulin. I suspect his parents will already be on it



Andy C

Answer 5

The eggs aren't a problem. They are very healthy in fact. It is all the carbs, especially the sugar, (the donuts and icecream) plus the alcohol that are doing the damage.



Tbh exercise is over-rated — there are plenty of skinny people out there who get hardly any exercise (I've been one for most my life!). If you got them to do some exercise they would probably just "treat" themselves afterwards anyway.



One good way to drop a hint might be to buy a nice glass fruit bowl and some bananas and apples and put it within easy reach of the sofa. You never know — they might decide one time they can't be bothered going to the kitchen and will take a banana and realise they aren't so bad! :)



Another snack you could encourage them to have that doesn't sound too healthy (but would be much better than donuts & icecream) would be salted peanuts. I keep a jar of these to hand by my computer. I've had a handful here and there while writing this (and they certainly arent fattening me up!). :)

Answer 6

You can't reform them at this late date, or do anything to break their habits of denial. Unfortunately this pattern is all too common.



Overeating is their main problem. Sugary foods contain lots of carbohydrates, but the main reason sugar is worse than bread or rice or potatoes is simply that sugar spikes the glucose in the blood faster and more severely than other carbs.



Do they take medications for their diabetes? Some of those meds probably warn against alcohol use.



The thing about diabetes is that you can go along on a plateau for quite some time, but then disaster strikes, and that plateau is suddenly a lot more dangerous.

Answer 7

"For decades, we have been told that the best possible diet involves cutting back on fat, especially saturated fat, and that if we are not getting healthier or thinner it must be because we are not trying hard enough. But what if the low-fat diet is itself the problem? What if the very foods we’ve been denying ourselves—the creamy cheeses, the sizzling steaks—are themselves the key to reversing the epidemics of obesity, diabetes, and heart disease?



In this captivating, vibrant, and convincing narrative, based on a nine-year-long investigation, Teicholz shows how the misinformation about saturated fats took hold in the scientific community and the public imagination, and how recent findings have overturned these beliefs."



"With eye-opening scientific rigor, The Big Fat Surprise upends the conventional wisdom about all fats with the groundbreaking claim that more, not less, dietary fat—including saturated fat—is what leads to better health and wellness. Science shows that we have been needlessly avoiding meat, cheese, whole milk, and eggs for decades and that we can now, guilt-free, welcome these delicious foods back into our lives."



The Big Fat Surprise: Why Butter, Meat and Cheese Belong in a Healthy Diet:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Big-Fat-Surprise-Healthy/dp/1451624425



***



"In my first month I lost 22 lbs (10 kg). I know, it was water. But I also measured my blood glucose levels every day (about 6 times) and realized after just 2 weeks of LCHF [low carb high fat] that I didnt need the medication anymore, my blood glucose levels went down from 185 (with metformin) to 75 – 90 (with food). My mental and physical energy went from -100 to +500. Since then I am so fit, I guess I never was like this before.



My diet is a very strict LCHF. I’m now a year into my new life and I have lost 93 lbs (42 kg), I always have energy and am an active husband and father. I found a new passion, I cook together with my wife really delicious foods. I could not have imagined doing this before.



In the past I also had severe sleep apnea and stressful snoring. All is gone. My blood results have all improved. I’m including some before and after pictures."



How to Reverse Diabetes and Lose 93 Pounds Without Hunger:

http://www.dietdoctor.com/peter-reversed-his-diabetes-and-lost-93-pounds-with-lchf



***



Low Carb High Fat (LCHF): "The diet, because of its low requirement for insulin, has been recognised by the Swedish government as being suitable for people with type 2 diabetes and as helpful to individuals looking to lose weight or maintain a healthy weight."



Low Carb High Fat Diet:

http://www.diabetes.co.uk/diet/low-carb-high-fat-diet.html

Answer 8

Wow. Your boyfriend was a late life child for this couple.



He basically has two choices. He can either keep nagging his parents to take better care of themselves, or he can just accept that they are going to do what they want to do and he can try to enjoy whatever time he has left with them.



It is hard to change the habits of someone who is already that old. You can attempt minor changes, but if they are still able to go to the store for themselves, it is obvious that any attempt to force healthier food choices will just be undone by their trips out of the house.

Answer 9

Diabetes is usually treated through a combination of diet (low sugar), exercise and medications/insulin. Read here https://tr.im/iaHqZ

Milder cases can be controlled with just diet an/or exercise while more severe cases require meds or insulin as well.

Answer 10

1. THEY ARE BOTH ADULTS!! they have free will to do as they please for their health!!

2. iF THEY ARE ON MEDICATION INCLUDING INSULIN, QUIT WORRYING ABOUT THEM! Insulin to cover the excess carbs does add weight which cannot be removed!

3. NO, AT THEIR AGES YOU WILL NOT CHANGE THEIR MINDS! it will take the surgery and/or heart attacks to get them to do anything else!

AND PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO COERCE THEM INTO DOING IT YOUR WAY!

Eggs are excellent protein food and easy to prepare. I add bacon or sausage but rarely eat the toast!

If you are not over there all the time but only once or so a week, how do you know that they don't eat salads most of the time and need the "cheat treats" to keep from cratering from lack of carbs and too much insulin?

Answer 11

Shocking New Diabetes Research Revealed - http://Help.DiabetesGoGo.com

Answer 12

There is nothing you can do for them. They are adults, they know about their health conditions and choose not to help themselves. Your better off focusing your engergy elsewhere, trying and not succeeding to help these people will only stress you out.

Answer 13

These two people are adults so they should know the consequences of not following their diet and not doing what the doctor suggests. There is nothing you can do with them.

Answer 14

Unfortunately I think they are past help.

They know what is happening but either do not care or do not understand the severity of their condition.

Barring something catastrophic happening to make them "see the light", they will not change.

Answer 15

make sure that you are in their will. if yes, load them up with salt, sugar, and fat. if no...maybe move. you sure don't want to be around when they've dead on the floor.

Answer 16

The damage has been done and eve if they changed their diet today it would be too late.

Answer 17

This is NOT your concern.

Take care of yourself .